


Blue Christmas

by Aurone



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - A Christmas Carol Fusion, Angst, Character Death In Dream, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Drinking, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, M/M, Post-Season/Series 01, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-02-12 11:40:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12958422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurone/pseuds/Aurone
Summary: Post-canon. After Barcelona, Emil is ready to give up on being more than friends with Michele. Mickey just doesn’t seem to get it.  He doesn't know the happiness he is missing out on.  A ghostly visitor will show Michele exactly who and what he has been missing. (Based on Dicken’s A Christmas Carol).





	1. Barcelona

**Author's Note:**

> So, my sister and I thought it would be a fantastic idea to write a bunch of fics with our favorite OTPs based on Dickens' A Christmas Carol. We both decided to write about characters from Yuri on Ice this year and will add other fandoms in following years. I, of course, had to write about my favorite boys, Emil and Michele. Michele makes a perfect Scrooge-like grump. I hope you enjoy it.

They had just finished watching the exhibition skates and were walking back to the hotel.  The snow was falling softly around them.  The city was bright with Christmas lights.  It would have been romantic if the encounter had been going like Emil had imagined. When they reached the hotel, instead of inviting Emil out for a few more moments together Michele said, “I have an early flight in the morning.  I have to get back. The Italian Nationals are in about a week. Thanks for coming with me.”

Emil thought _that’s it?  You invite me to come with you to Barcelona and I come.  And all you say is thanks? God, I thought I was finally getting through but no.  Maybe I should just give up and move on.  This hurts so much.  You are killing me, Mickey._

Emil dishearteningly said, “Okay, I understand.  The four-national figure skating competition is in about a week as well. I guess I’ll see you at the European Championship, then?”

Michele replied, “Probably.”

Mickey started to turn towards the elevator.

Emil said, “Wait, Michele.”

Michele turned around and raised an eyebrow at Emil.

Emil continued, “I have a Christmas present for you.”

Emil pulled the gift out from an interior pocket in his coat.

Emil thought _I had to hunt all over Europe to find this book.  It’s a rare out of print book that is nearly impossible to find in Italian.  I don’t think I have ever spent so much on a book before, but it will totally worth it if it makes him smile._

He handed Michele the present.

Michele said, “Thank you.  You didn’t have to get me anything.”

Emil said, “I know, but I wanted to.”

Michele said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything.”

Emil replied, “That’s okay.”

Michele nodded and turned back towards the elevator with the gift still wrapped in his hand.  He was turned away from Emil so he didn’t see the look of frustration and heartache on his face as Michele walked away without evening opening his gift. Emil hung his head after he watched Michele walk away.

_He didn’t even open his gift._

Tears rolled down Emil’s face as he stood in the hotel lobby.

_Why do I even try? God, what an awful evening. Drink.  I am gonna need a drink to get through this._

Emil walked over to the hotel bar and proceeded to drown his sorrows.  That was where Sara found him later in the evening.

Sara asked, “Emil, what’s wrong?”

Emil said, “I. . .just don’t know what to do.”

Sara said, “This is about Mickey?”

Emil nodded.

Sara said, “What did my idiot brother do this time?”

Emil said, “Sara, I just don’t know what to do to get his attention.  I mean he invited me here, and I thought we were getting somewhere, but he has kept me at a distance the entire trip.”

Sara frowned and said, “Where is he now?  Why aren’t you out together since it’s your last night here?”

Emil laughed without mirth, “He basically dumped me.  He said thanks for coming and got in the elevator and went back to his room about an hour ago.  He didn’t even open the Christmas gift I gave him.  He just took it and left.”

Sara said, “Oh, Emil.  I am so sorry.  He is such an idiot. The gift thing is not a reflection on you, though.  We have a weird family tradition that we don’t open any gifts until Christmas Day.  He should have told you instead of just walking away.”

Emil began crying in earnest.

He hiccuped, “I. . can’t do this much longer, Sara.  I. . .love. . .him but, this, this hurts too much.  I need to give up and move on.”

Sara found that tears were flowing down her own cheeks.  She hugged her friend.

She said, “I know. I know.  You are too good for him, you know.”

Emil nodded and said, “But that doesn’t make me love him less or make this hurt less.”

She replied, “I know.  My brother is an idiot.  He is going to lose the best thing that has ever happened to him if he doesn't watch out.”

Emil continued to cry on her shoulder. Sara held her friend until he cried himself out.  She helped him back to his room and then went search of her idiot brother.  She had a few things she wanted to get off her mind. Sara knocked on her brother’s door. Michele opened his door to find an irate Sara standing there.

She asked, “What did you do to Emil?”

Michele, confused, replied, “What do you mean?”

Sara said. “He was crying his eyes out at the bar downstairs when I saw him just now. And you have to be the cause.”

“But I didn’t do anything.”

“You’re a terrible friend, Mickey.”

“Huh?”

“You invited Emil to come with you here but you abandoned him on the last night of the trip? That’s just bad manners. You should have spent this evening with him. And you should have opened the gift he gave you.”

“But we always open our gifts on Christmas Day.”

Sara sighed, “Emil doesn’t know that.  Not everyone does that.  How do you think he felt when you took the gift and just walked away?  Did you ever think he might like to see you open it?”

Michele, getting mad, “Well, did you open the gift he gave you, then?”

“He didn’t get me a gift, Mickey.”

“What do you mean, he didn’t get you one.  Why would he give me a gift and not you?”

Sara replied as she walked towards the hotel room door, “Think about it a bit.  I’m sure you will figure it out, eventually.  I just hope that’s not too late when you do.”

Sara walked out of Mickey’s room and went back to her own.  She was nearly crying out of frustration.   _How can my brother be so blind?  I wish someone looked at me the way that Emil looks at him._

When she got back to her room, she called Mila to vent. Mila invited her over to her room and they spent the evening complaining about boys, especially one thick-headed Italian.

 

******

Italian Nationals:  Dec. 14th (Egna, Italy).

 

Sara heard her phone ding.  She looked down to see a text from Emil.  

“Good luck at the nationals!”

“Thank you, Emil.”

The text was followed by an inordinate amount of smiley faces.  Sara smiled.

_He is always so supportive.  I wish Mickey would get over himself and give Emil a chance._

She looked over at her brother who was looking at his own phone.  He was scowling.  

 _He probably got a text from Emil too.  He should be kinder to Emil._  


*******

Mickey scowled as he heard his phone ping. _That’s probably Emil wishing me luck or something._

Mickey looked down at his phone.  

“Good luck at the nationals, Mickey!”

_Why does anyone need to use that many emojis?  That is just ridiculous.  Besides, I don’t need luck.  I have worked hard training for this competition.  Maybe Emil needs to rely on luck but Sara and I rely on hard work._

Mickey didn’t respond to Emil’s text.  He didn’t know that Emil checked his phone constantly for hours waiting for a reply that never came.

 

******

Four National Championship Dec 16th (Katowice, Poland)

 

Emil was getting ready to skate.  This competition would decide who went to the World’s this year. Emil was ready.  He had practiced hard, but his heart wasn’t in it. Mickey had really hurt him at Barcelona and he had never really recovered. He waited for a call or text or something from Mickey explaining himself, or apologizing, but it never came. Emil’s coach could see something was wrong with Emil.  He had lost the exuberance that he normally showed. His coach couldn’t figure out what was wrong.  He had asked Emil but the normally forthright boy had simply said nothing was wrong and shrugged his shoulders.  His coach knew it was a lie but chose not to call Emil on it. Emil heard his phone ping. Hope flared in his chest.

_Maybe?_

But no.  It was Sara.

“Good Luck, Emil.  I know you will do well.  Mickey and I both placed first after the short programs.  We skate our long program today.”

“Thanks.  Congrats on your short program and good luck with the long program today.  Tell Mickey good luck for me.”

“You are not going to text him?”

“No, I couldn’t stand the silence if he didn’t respond.  Better to not even try.”

Sara thought _Poor Emil.  I bet Mickey doesn’t even know he is skating today.  What is wrong with my brother?  Emil is his only friend and he can’t spare the time to text him?_  

Emil made it through his short program.  It was lackluster but error free.  His technical score was good but the judges could see that his usual flare was gone.  His presentation score was low but after the short program he was in second place amongst all the competitors and 1st among the Czech competitors. When Emil got back to his hotel room, he looked up the standings for the Italian Nationals.  He smiled when he saw that Mickey and Sara both came in first.  

_If I don’t completely mess up my long program, then I will see them both at the Europeans. I’ll watch their routines when I get back to Prague._

Emil laid down on his bed.  He was exhausted.  This competition was only two days so he had to skate his long program tomorrow.

_How am I going to get through this? It all seems not worth the effort somehow._

Emil sighed.  

_I guess I should eat something.  I think I’ll just get room service.  I don’t feel like leaving my room and facing the other skaters._

Emil ate his dinner and went to bed. He got up the next morning and got ready for his skate.

_I don’t feel any better today.  I just need to stay focused and finish my program._

He looked down at his phone one last time before he had to warm up.  He still didn’t have a message from Mickey. Emil sighed and put his phone away and then he skated out into the ice.

 

******

_I’ve almost made it through the program.  God, I am so tired.  One jump left, a triple loop.  Thank God, it’s not a quad.  I’ve done okay.  I wobbled on one quad but otherwise I’ve done alright. I’ll probably take a hit on presentation like I did yesterday but I should still qualify for the Europeans._

Emil knew when he entered the jump it was going to be bad.  He got all the rotations in so it was counted as a triple but he fell hard on the landing.  He felt pain lance up his shoulder when he hit the ice.  He immediately got up and finished his program.  When he was finished, he stiffly left the ice to go to the kiss and cry.  His coach knew he had hurt himself.  He could see it in the way he moved.  As soon as Emil got out of the camera’s eye, tears started rolling down his cheeks.  Whether it was from the pain from his heart or the pain in his shoulder who could tell.


	2. Momma

Michele and Sara both watched in disbelief as Emil fell at the end of his routine at the Four National Championships.  They knew he was hurt the moment he stood up.  He was moving too stiffly.  

Mickey said softly, “He’s hurt.”

Sara replied, “He is.  This is all your fault.”

Mickey, confused, asked, “How?  I didn’t make him fall.”

Sara sighed exasperated, “Michele Crispino. . .”

Michele winced.  It was never good for him when Sara used his full name.

“If you are so blind that you can’t see what is in front of you, I don’t know what to say.  Can’t you see what you have been doing to Emil?  He is completely unraveling.”

Michele replied, “What do you mean? I don’t understand.  Why are you so mad about this? I am not doing anything to him.”

Sara threw her hands up in the air and walked away from her brother.  

_ If I don’t walk away now, I’ll say something we’ll both regret or I’ll say something Emil won’t forgive me for. _

After Sara left, Michele thought  _ At least Emil finished his routine.  He scored high enough to come in third overall, but first in the Czech rankings. That means he still qualified for the Europeans and the World’s.  I’ll get to see him then if his shoulder is healed. Maybe I should text him and see how he is.  Would that be weird? I never text him.  _

 

_ ***** _

Christmas Eve

Sara held onto her anger and silence for a week.  It had nearly driven Michele insane, especially since he didn’t know what he had done to make her so mad. Fortunately, the holiday had brought him forgiveness. The twins normally didn’t do a lot on Christmas Eve.  They did most of their celebrating on Christmas Day.  They had spent an easy day together.  Since it was a little chilly outside, they spent the day indoors just enjoying each other’s company. They spent their evening reading in the living room.  Michele was reading a novel in a chair by the fireplace while Sara read a magazine on the couch.  Sara stood up from the couch and stretched. 

She said, “I am going to call Mila and then head to bed. Don’t stay up too late reading, Mickey.”

Michele looked up from his book when Sara started speaking.  He nodded in response and watched her go upstairs to her bedroom.

_ She’s been talking to Mila an awful lot lately.  I wonder why?  I guess they are just good friends.  This book is really good.  I just want to read a few more chapters before heading to bed.  All the recent competitions have me worn out.  _

Michele settled back comfortably in his chair and once again got engrossed in the story that was unfolding in the pages of his book. 

*****

Michele was awaken by a familiar voice calling his name.  He sat up in his chair, and stretched.  Kneading the kink in the back of his neck he thought  _ I must have fallen asleep reading in my chair.  I wonder what woke me?  _

Michele looked around the room and saw a sight that he had never even hoped to see again.  His mother was standing there in middle of the living room. 

_ Mom? I must be dreaming. I wonder what brought me this dream? I haven’t dreamt of mother in years.  _

She looked as he remembered her, young and smiling.  Although presently she seemed concerned about something. She shared the unusual violet eyes with the twins but had Sara’s darker locks. She stepped towards her son. 

_ “ _ Mickey,” she said as she sighed.

“Mother?” Michele replied. 

His mother said,“My poor boy.  What happened to you? You used to be so open and so loving.  Now you are so closed off that you can’t let anyone but your sister in. You are about to lose the one love of your life and you don’t even know it.”

Michele asked, “What love? I’m not in love with anyone.”

She replied, “That I cannot answer.  It is something you must figure out for yourself.  Come here and let me see the man you have grown into.  Your father and I are so proud of the accomplishments of both you and your sister.”

Michele smiled as he stood up from his chair and approached his mother. When he got close, he reached out to touch her.  She clasped his hand in hers. He could feel the texture of her skin and the warmth radiating from her body.  He looked into her eyes.

_ This has got to be a dream, but it feels so real.  _

He asked, “I’m dreaming, right?”

She replied, “Unfortunately, no.”

Michele, still in disbelief asked, “But how? You’re dead.”

She sighed again and replied, “I am but a visitor Mickey. I cannot stay long.  I am the vanguard for the intervention of your heart.  You are at a point in your life where you are about to make decisions that with either bring you happiness or ruin. You are currently hurtling toward ruin. You will have three additional visitors this eve.  Each will show you things that will help you hopefully make the right choice, my son.”

Michele asked, “What decisions, Mother? What visitors?”

His mother replied, “The first is the spirit of Christmas past. They will show you significant Christmases from your past.  The second is the spirit of Christmas present which will show Christmases of importance in the now, and the third will be the spirit of Christmas yet to come. They will show you your future if you don’t change your ways.”

“What will they show me?”

“That I do not know.  It all depends on what you need to see.”

“What about Sara?  Why appear to me and not her?”

“Sara doesn’t need me.  She has opened herself to love. She will be fine without our help.  But you have a bleak future ahead of you, Mickey if you do not heed the warnings of the spirits.  Be mindful of what the spirits show you, Mickey.”

Michele asked, “What do you mean bleak, Mother?  What’s wrong with my future?”

Tears in her eyes, She replied, “I cannot tell you anymore. My time here is nearly up.  Come give your mother a hug before I go.”

Michele walked into his mother’s embrace.  

He said, “I have missed you and father so much.  It’s been so hard without you.”

She replied, “I know, love, and I am sorry.  I wish I could change what happened. I wish we could have been there for you. Then maybe you wouldn’t have become so wary, so closed off.”

She stroked his hair as she had done when he was young as she began to fade away.

Michele called out, “Mother! Don’t leave me!”

She looked so sad as she faded out. Michele reached out for her with tears in his eyes. When she was out of sight, Michele found that he had fallen to his knees on the floor. He could feel the tears trailing down his face and suddenly he was sobbing as he not done in years. It was a wonder that Sara didn’t hear him and come down to see what was the matter. He stayed there, where he had last seen his mother, a long time weeping.  His body shaking in despair as the boy in him finally mourned the loss of his mother. 

********

Michele woke with a start and nearly fell out of the chair that he found he was still sitting in.  He shivered.  It had gotten cold in the living room.  He looked over at the fire to find it had burned down to merely glowing embers. The book he had been reading had fallen into his lap.

_ I wonder how late it is? _

He looked at the clock and saw that it was midnight. 

_ It’s late. I must have fallen asleep while reading. I should get up and go to bed.  _

He reached up and touched his cheek. He felt the dried tears on his face. __ His eyes also felt sore from crying. 

_ That was some dream.  Three spirit visitors, huh?  I know this story.  I guess that’s what I get for reading Dickens before going to bed on Christmas Eve.  _

Michele picked up his book and laid it on the small table by his chair.  He would finish it tomorrow afternoon after he and Sara had their morning Christmas celebration. 

_ Maybe I’ll even call Emil tomorrow.  It’s Christmas after all, and we are friends?  I should at least see how he is doing. I never did call him after he was injured. That injury looked bad. I hope he is okay. _

He put out the fire and walked upstairs to his bedroom.  He paused as he came to Sara’s room.  There was no light under the door and all he heard was silence.  

_ She must have already finished talking to Mila and gone to bed.  Good.  We both need the rest.  _

Michele walked into his bedroom.  He changed into some warm nightclothes, brushed his teeth and climbed into his bed.  In spite of the early visitation, it didn’t take long for Michele to fall into a deep sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its my head canon that Michele's and Sara's parents have passed away since they are not mentioned in the show. I am also assuming that each other is the only family they have.


	3. The Spirit of Christmas Past

The clock struck one as a voice drifted through Michele’s bedroom.  The voice and words seemed familiar.

“Mrs. Crispino, can Mickey come out and play?  Is it okay if we go to the rink?  Mickey, come on, let’s go!”

_I remember that voice.  It’s been so long.  That’s right, we used to be friends. . .before._

Mickey woke up to find a young dark-headed boy standing in his bedroom.  Michele sat up in his bed looking at the boy before him. He was wearing workout clothes like the kind you would wear to go skating.  Michele immediately recognized him as the younger version of his rinkmate, Angelo. Angelo was a grown man now but they had been friends when they both were younger.  Michele had pushed him away after the accident that killed his parents. He shut him out like he did many of his friends. They were on friendly terms as rinkmates but they were no longer friends.

Michele asked, “Who are you and what are you doing in my bedroom?”

The apparition replied, “I am the spirit of Christmas past.  I took the form of your rinkmate to put you more at ease.  I am here to show you some of your past Christmases before you became such a grump.”

Michele said, “I am not a grump.”

The spirit just looked at Michele.

Michele said, “Okay, maybe a little.”

The spirit reached out a hand to Michele.  

“Come, I am going to take you to your past.”

Michele thought _this is some crazy dream but alright._

Michele slipped out from beneath the warmth of his bed covers. He slid his feet into his slippers which were by the bed.  He stood up and reached out to the spirit encapsulating the spirit’s small hand in his own.

“Hold on.” Said the spirit.

The world began to blur, and Michele felt like he was falling. When the world righted itself again, he found himself looking into the window of his childhood home. Standing outside in the cold, he was glad of his slippers.  Michele missed this house sometimes.  There were so many good memories ringing through its halls. He missed the smell of his mother cooking in the kitchen and noise that he and Sara made as they ran up and down the stairs of the two-story house. Michele looked closely through the window and noticed people inside gathered around a lovely Christmas tree.

_That tree looks awfully like our tree when Mom used to decorate it. They look so warm and happy._

The spirit said, “Look closer Michele.”

_That’s us.  Sara, me, and my parents.  We look so happy.  Is this the Christmas before they died?_

He watched his younger self unwrap a gift.  It was a St. Christopher medal.

_It is the Christmas before we lost them.  I will never forget getting my medal._

He touched the St. Christopher medal that still hung around his neck.  He felt the cold metal against his fingertips.  The medal reminded him that he was once very loved but it also reminded him of what he had lost.

_I’ve worn it ever since._

The spirit sighed and said, “This was the last Christmas you were truly happy.”

Michele felt tears welling up in his eyes.

_It’s been so hard without Mom and Dad.  I miss them both so much.  Since they have been gone, I always feel like I need to protect Sara. She is all I have left. I feel her pulling away from me, but I have no life but her so if I lose her. . . What will I do?_

The spirit interjected, “Sara is not all you have but you have to open your eyes to see.”

Michele replied, “What do you mean?”

The spirit said, “That’s not my story to tell.  You will soon see.”

Michele asked, “Can we watch awhile, it’s been so long.”

The spirit nodded and they watch as the happy family unwrapped presents with the natural joy that Christmas brings. Michele drank in the sight of his parents.  It was so good to see them, even in a dream. He missed his Dad’s smiling eyes and the terrible jokes he used to tell.  He watched as Sara laughed and his younger self made a face.

_Dad must have told one of his jokes. This is a memory I was always sad that I had lost.  I desperately wanted to remember that last Christmas, but I never could.  Maybe now I can keep it in my memory._

As the family finished opening their gifts, Michele saw a young boy come to the door.  It was Angelo.  

“Mrs. Crispino, can Mickey go skating with us?”

Michele’s mother replied, “Of course.  Give us a moment and we will all go.”

Mickey watched as his family got ready to go skating with Angelo’s family.

_I forgot that we used to do that.  We used to always go skating on Christmas with his family._

As his family came piling out the door, the memory began to fade from view.

The spirit said, “We have another Christmas to visit.”

The spirit held out his hand, and Michele once again took it. This time Michele found himself outside his Grandmother’s home.  She had lived close to his parents in the same neighborhood.  After the accident, Sara and Michele had gone to live with her. She had treated them well and done the best she could but she couldn’t replace their parents.  She had passed away a few years ago leaving Sara as Michele’s only living relative. Michele looked in on another Christmas of his and Sara’s, only this one wasn’t as festive.  There was a tree, but it wasn’t their mother’s tree.  There were gifts, but neither twin wanted them.  They just wanted their parents back. The holidays only made them miss their parents more. Michele watched as a dark-headed boy approached his grandmother’s door.  It was Angelo.  Angelo wanted to continue the tradition of the Crispinos to going ice skating with his family on Christmas Day.  Angelo’s parents had been close friends with Michele’s parents and the families had done a lot of activities together.  His parents had warned him that Michele and his sister might not come.  They were still hurting over the loss of their parents, but Angelo had to try.

Angelo thought _I just want my friend to smile again.  Maybe skating will do that.  He has always loved to skate so much._

Michele watched as his grandmother spoke to Angelo.  The little boy walked away from his grandmother’s house with his head hung low.  Michele knew that they didn’t go skating with Angelo’s family that day or ever again.  It was too painful for Michele to be around the people who had shared so many memories with his parents, and Sara wouldn’t go without him.  

_I never considered how I might have hurt Angelo by not being around him anymore.  We had been such good friends until I lost my parents.  It probably would have been better to lean on him rather than abandon him.  No wonder he doesn’t really talk to me now. He must have seen it as an awful betrayal when I cut him out of my life. I wish I could tell him I’m sorry, but I am afraid it’s too late now to make a difference._

Michele felt a few tears creep down his face.  He was sorry for the friendship he had lost all those years ago, and he was sad for the two little boys who both ended up hurting that Christmas. The spirit looked at Michele’s face, but didn’t say anything.

The Spirit thought _I don’t think any words are necessary here.  He realizes what he did here._ The scene faded away.

The Spirit said, “I’ll take my leave now, Michele.  You have seen all I have to show you. One last piece of advice, tell Angelo you are sorry.  I think he’ll forgive you.  This is a friendship you might be able to build again.”

Michele nodded as he watched the spirit fade away.  He then realized that he was back in his room in his bed like nothing had happened. Michele laid back down in his bed.

_Was it a dream? Those were vivid memories that I had long forgotten.  But it couldn’t have been real, could it? I do think I’ll talk to Angelo after the break.  I would like us to be friends again. Maybe he really will forgive me._

With that last thought Michele slipped back into a peaceful slumber unaware of what lay ahead for him.

 

*****

Across town, Angelo woke from his sleep with a start.  

_What a weird dream.  I haven’t thought about that Christmas in years.  I forgot that we used to go skating with Michele’s family.  I sometimes wish we hadn’t drifted apart. We were such good friends until his parents died and then he was just gone. I sometimes wonder if I should have reached out more.  We were so young.  We had no way of coping with a tragedy on that scale._

Angelo sighed and slipped back into dreamless slumber.

 

******

A couple of weeks later

 

Angelo was unsurprised when Michele approached him at practice.  They were rinkmates after all.  

Michele said, “Hey, Angelo.”

Angelo replied, “Mickey, what’s up?

Michele said, “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. . .”

Angelo raised an eyebrow but didn’t interrupt.

Michele continued, “I want to apologize for treating you so badly when we were kids.”

Angelo thought _now this has to be a dream.  Michele never apologizes for anything._

Michele said, “I hope that you can forgive the hurting child that I was.  I was hoping that we could be friends again.”

Angelo, looking surprised, said, “Of course you are forgiven.  I know why you did what you did.  It hurt at the time but I figured it out as I got older.  I forgave you a long time ago, Mickey.  And I would be glad to have you as a friend again.  I’ve missed you.”

Michele said, “I’ve miss our friendship, too. Thank you.  I don’t deserve your kindness, but thank you.”

Angelo asked, “Do you and Sara want to come over to my parents later in the week.  I am sure they would love to see both of you.”

Michele nodded and held out his hand to his friend who promptly grasped it and pulled Michele in for a hug.  This was the rekindling of a friendship that would last through both of their lives, even after they retired from skating.


	4. The Spirit of Christmas Present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone. I had hoped to get this fic finished by Christmas but well life happens. Enjoy.

Christmas Eve 2 am

 

Michele woke with a start to find Sara standing over him.  She wasn’t wearing the clothes she went to bed in.

_ Why did she change clothes? _

Michele mumbled, “Sara, what’s wrong?”

Sara replied, “I’m not really your sister, Michele.  I am the spirit of Christmas present.”

Michele groaned, “Not another one.  When will these dreams stop?”

_ I don’t know if I can take another set of memories.  _

The spirit replied, “When you’ve seen all you need to see.”

Michele asked, “Haven’t I seen enough?”

The spirit replied, “Evidently not.”

Michele sighed.

The spirit, starting to lose patience, said, “Come on Mickey, we don’t have all night.  Get out of that bed so we can go.”

Michele reluctantly crawled out of his warm bed.  He shivered when his feet hit the cold floor. He slipped on his slippers as Spirit Sara thrust her hand out at him. Michele took her hand and watched as the world blurred around him.  He found himself in a very familiar place, his own living room. He watched as Sara came downstairs from her bedroom. She was wearing her favorite pajamas.  They were the ones he had given her last year for Christmas. As part of their normal Christmas routine, she started getting their breakfast together.  She started by making them each a cup of cappuccino.  She got out the fette biscottate she had picked up the day before.  She got two plates and set out a serving for each of them.  

“Mickey,” she called, “breakfast is ready.”

Michele heard himself answer, “Coming.”

It was an eerie experience to watch himself come down the stairs. He was also still in his pajamas, the ones he was currently wearing. 

Future Michele said, “Merry Christmas, Sara” as he kissed her on her cheek. 

Sara replied, “Merry Christmas, Mickey.”

She handed Michele his breakfast.  They both moved to sit at the small kitchen table that they had in their apartment.  They ate their breakfast in a comfortable silence. Once they had finished their breakfast and the dishes had been cleared away, they moved to the living room.  It was time to open their presents. 

Sara said, “Open Emil’s first.  I want to see what he got you.”

Michele replied, “Okay.”

_ I have been wondering what he got me.  He seemed so disappointed when I didn’t open it in Barcelona.   _

Michele opened the square shaped package. When he got the wrapping paper off, he just stared at the book in his hand.  He turned it over.

_ No, it couldn’t be.  I’ve been looking for this forever.  How did he find it?  How did he afford it? _

Sara finally asked, “Well, what is it Mickey?”

Michele replied, “A book.”

Sara said, “Well, it must be something special to have you speechless.”

Michele said, “It’s  _ the  _ book, Sara.”

Sara gasped, “You mean the book you’ve been looking for forever and haven’t been able to find?”

Michele nodded. 

Sara asked, “What language is it in?  Is it the English reprint that you already have?”

Michele shook his head said, “No.  It’s in Italian.”

Sara said, “What?! Really?  Let me see.”

Michele handed Sara the book.  

Sara looked at the book and said, “Oh, Mickey.  He went to a lot of trouble.  This is a special gift.  Please call him later.”

A stunned Michele just nodded and took the book back from his sister. They opened the rest of their gifts.  They then both got ready for the day.  After showering Michele put in his favorite violet sweater.  Sara smiled when she saw her brother come back downstairs wearing it.  It had been last years present from Emil.  They spent a quiet afternoon reading/using their new gifts.  In the early evening, Michele called Emil and spoke to him for a few minutes.  Emil had just arrived home to his apartment.  He had a doctor’s appointment the next day to see about his shoulder.  He would be spending Christmas evening alone. 

As the scene began to fade out Michele turned to the spirit and asked, “Why show me that?  That was a fine Christmas.  We do it like that every year.”

The Spirit replied, “Yes, but what happens when Sara gets married and has a family of her own? You will end up spending Christmas alone.”

The thought stunned Michele for a moment. 

_ I never thought about her leaving. How can I handle the holidays without her? _

_ **** _

Michele was brought out of his thoughts as the next scene materialized.  He was in an apartment he didn’t recognize. It was a fairly nice apartment.  The living room was decorated warmly and had pictures on the wall and featured a well loved couch.  He noticed one of himself amongst the photos of people he didn’t recognize. There was a bag of gear near the door.  A TV sat across from the couch. There was a small kitchen to the left of the living room. Michele spotted a hallway which must lead to the bedroom. 

Michele noticing the gear thought _This m_ ust _be another skater’s home.  Why are we here?  Why do they have a picture of me?_

No one was home, yet.   Just then Michele heard a key jingle in the door, and the door opened to reveal Emil.

_ Why did the spirit bring me here? _

Emil set his suitcase on the floor.  He hung up his jacket by the door and took off his shoes. 

_ Why is he at his apartment instead of his family’s home? They seem so close knit like they would spend the holidays together.  _

Emil said (to himself), “I can’t believe I had to come back early for a doctor’s appointment.  I am going to miss momma’s dinner.”

He sat down with a huff on the couch. 

Emil wondered, “Did Michele open his gift? Did he like it?  Will I ever know?”

About that time, Emil’s phone rang. Emil looked down at his phone. The call was from Michele. Emil blushed as he answered the phone, “Hello?”

Michele said, “Emil?”

Emil replied, “Yes?”

“I just called to thank you for the Christmas gift.”

Emil responded, “You are welcome.  Glad you liked it. Did you have a good day with Sara?”

“We did.  We stayed in. It was nice. How was yours?”

Emil said, “It got cut a little short because of a doctor’s appointment I have tomorrow.  But I always enjoy any time I can spend with my family.”

Michele said, “Hmm, sorry you didn’t get to spend the day with your family. Uh, well, I should go.  I just wanted to say thank you for the gift.”

Emil replied, “It was good to hear from you.”

Michele said, “Bye, see you at the next competition.”

Emil said, “Goodbye, Michele.”

Emil felt the tears gather in his eyes as he hung up the phone.  Michele watched as the tears ran down Emil’s face. 

_ Why is he crying?  What was in that call? _

The spirit said, “It was from you.”

Michele said, “What?”

The spirit said, “The call. It was from you.”

Michele asked, “What could I have possibly said to make him cry?”

The spirit replied, “I think it’s more of what you didn’t say.”

Michele looked at the spirit in confusion. Then they heard Emil’s phone ring, again. Emil looked at the caller ID and sighed. 

He answered, “Hey, Sis.”

Alexandra said, “I guess you made it home alright?”

Emil said, “Yep.”

Alexandra asked, “Emil, What’s wrong?”

Emil replied, “Nothing?”

Alexandra said, “I know better than that little brother, spill.”

Emil said, “Alex,  I just can’t. . .anymore.”

Alexandra said, “That skater boy, huh?”

Emil said, “Yeah, he still thinks I like his sister.  He probably doesn’t even know that I’m gay.”

Alexandra chuckled, “And you’re still sure it’s him you want?”

Emil sobbed into the phone, “Yeah.”

Alexandra said, “Oh, honey.  I’m sorry.”

Michele listened to the conversation with concern and confusion.  

He turned to the spirit and asked, “Are they talking about me?”

The spirit replied, “Yes, genius.  They are talking about you. Emil’s been in love with you forever.”

Michele said, “But Sara?”

The spirit sighed, “Mickey, you are an idiot.  You just heard him.  He doesn’t like girls.”

Mickey turned to look at Emil who was nearly doubled over on the couch as he poured his heart to his older sister. 

Michele stammered softly, “I didn’t know. . .”

He took a step toward the still crying Emil.  He had never wanted to touch someone as much as he wanted to touch Emil now.  Anything to stop that awful broken hearted sobbing.  


The spirit said, “You know you can’t touch him, right?  We are not really here.”

Michele looked at the spirit with pain on his face. 

As the scene faded away, Michele said softly, “I’m sorry.  I didn’t know. Emil, I am so sorry.”

_ How long?  How long have I been hurting him? _

Michele found himself alone in his room again. He reached up and touched his cheek and found he had been crying.  What an awful dream. It couldn’t be true, could it? 

_ There is no way that Emil loves me, right? But what if?  Then how do I feel about him? I can’t take too many more of these visitations.  They just hurt too much. _

 

****

Sara woke up. 

_ That was a crazy dream.  I wish my brother would realize how much Emil cares for him. I wonder if Mickey is okay.  I feel as if he has been through a lot tonight. Maybe I should check on him.  _

Sara got up out of bed and put on her housecoat and slippers.  She walked down the hall to her brother’s room.  She found him there sound asleep.  Sara shrugged her shoulders and went back to her room and fell back into sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you are enjoying the piece. Kudos and comments are always welcome. Thanks for reading.


	5. The Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has mentions of Major Character Death in the Visions just like in the original Dicken's tale and mentions of suicide. If either of these are a trigger please do not read.

The clock struck three.  Michele was suddenly awakened by a presence in his room. 

He sat up in bed as he said,”For the love of God, haven’t . . .”

He stopped when he saw the figure.  It inspired a sense of dread in Michele that he had never felt before.  It was a tall figure that was draped in a cloak of black.  The cloak hid its shape and face.  

_ I get the feeling that I don’t ever want to see his face. This must be the spirit of Christmas Yet to Come.  Hopefully, it’ll be my last visitor of the evening.  _

Michele asked, “Are you the spirit of Christmas yet to come?”

The figure simply nodded.  

“You are going to show me my future?”

The figured nodded again.  Michele shivered as he watched the figure move closer.  A scream caught in his throat as the figure reach out a bony hand and grasped his wrist and the world faded away. 

When his vision cleared, Michele was no longer sitting in bed. He was standing in a place he had never seen before.  It was some kind of venue and there seemed to be some kind of party or celebration happening.  He quickly realized he was watching a wedding.

_ Who got married? _

“It’s time for Mila’s and Sara’s first dance.  Clear the floor everyone.” The DJ said.

_ Sara’s getting married to Mila?  Didn’t see that one coming, but I approve.  _

Michele smiled as he watched Sara and Mila dance. They looked so happy.  After their first dance, the DJ played a slow love song. Everyone who had a significant other hit the dance floor.  Michele was sitting at the Wedding Party’s table.  He looked down the table.  On Sara’s side was himself, Emil and Sofia.  On Mila’s side was Victor, Yuri and Georgi. When the music started, a good-looking young man walked up to Emil and held out his hand. Emil smiled at the dark-haired man and took his hand.  He let himself be led to the dance floor. 

_ Must be his boyfriend. Why does Emil having a boyfriend make me sad? _

Michele frowned as he watched the two men head to the dance floor. Sofia’s date came and got her as well.  He watched as the couple disappear onto the dance floor.  But there was no one for him. He had come to his sister’s wedding alone. The future him looked down the table and noticed that only Yuri was left.  Michele looked at the dance floor and spotted Victor with Yuuri.  Surprisingly enough Georgi had a date as well. She was a cute blonde thing that was looking at Georgi as if he hung the stars and the moon.

_ I wish someone would look at me like that.  _

Michele got up from his seat at the table and sat down next to Yuri.  Misery loves company after all. 

“Where’s the dark haired Kazakh boy that’s always following you around?” Future Michele asked. 

Yuri replied, “The same place as your goofy-grinning idiot.”

Michele looked over at Emil dancing and laughing with that other man.  It made his heart hurt.

“We are a pair, aren’t we.  We waited until it was too late and now misery is the price we pay.” Michele said.  

Yuri simply nodded. 

Michele looked down at the medical boot on Yuri’s foot.  

“I heard that you broke your foot at the Grand Prix this year. End of the season for you, huh?”

Yuri growled, “Yeah, it sucks. But it let me come to this awful spectacle.”

Michele chuckled, “At least you took home the gold for your trouble.”

Yuri said, "hmm."

They spent the evening watching the others dance and talking. The night was finally coming to a close, and it was time to throw the bouquet.  But instead of throwing it, Sara walked over and handed it to Emil.  Emil looked confused as he accepted the flowers.  Mila then handed the garter to Emil’s boyfriend.  The boyfriend walked over to Emil and then got down on one knee and opened a ring box.

“Will you marry me, Emil?”

Emil hesitated for a moment and his eyes flicked to Michele.  The future Michele didn’t see it but the present Michele did.

_ He is marrying someone else but he still loves me.  Why? Did I mess up that badly?  _

Emil responded, “Yes.” 

The crowd erupted in a happy roar and the celebrating began anew. Michele looked at his future self.  

_ I look miserable and I am alone.  Sara is gone and I lost Emil.  I have no one.  _

He watched as Yuri walked up to him.

“That’s tough man.” 

He pulled out his phone to show Michele an Instagram post announcing Otabek’s engagement to a local girl. 

“I know how you feel.  I am going to go get us a couple of drinks.”

Michele, still stunned, nodded. Yuri and Michele bonded that evening over their shared misery and a strange friendship was born. 

The present Michele mumbled, “Never thought I would be friends with Yuri.”

He shivered as he felt the bony hand grip his shoulder.  The world once again faded out. 

When the world came back into focus, they were in a graveyard. Michele looked at the spirit suspiciously, “Why are we here? Who died?”

The spirit merely pointed at a young blonde haired man who was walking towards the headstone. It was Yuri. Yuri stood in front of the grave for a moment and then he sighed. A few tears escaped from his eyes. 

“Michele, you coward. I understand why you did it man, but now I have no one to talk to, you idiot.  Why did you leave. . .”

Yuri heard a car door shut and looked up to see that Mila and Sara were approaching the grave.  He left the rose he had brought and quietly slipped away. He didn’t want anyone to see him there.  No one knew that he and Michele had been friends and he wanted to keep it that way.  He didn’t need anymore pity. When Mila and Sara reached the grave site, they saw the rose.

Sara said, “I wonder who was here?  Emil always leaves more flowers than that.”

Mila responded, “I don’t know.  Who else would come?”

Sara shrugged. Tears started to fall down Sara’s face as she spoke to the grave.

“Merry Christmas, Mickey.  We would like you to meet your nephew.”

Mila held up the baby she was holding.  The babe wasn’t very old. 

Sara continued,  “We named him after you. Oh, Mickey.  I miss you so much.  Why?”

Michele felt tears stream down his face at his sister’s distress.  

“What happened to me?” Michele asked the spirit.

The spirit remained silent and once again pointed at the grave. Michele saw a broken looking Emil approach the grave. He was slouching and he was missing the constant smile that he usually carried on his face.  He had a bouquet of roses in his hands.  Sara noticed that Emil was alone. Usually his fiancée came with him. 

Sara said, “Emil, where is . . .”

Emil said, “We called off the engagement.  I just couldn’t after.”

Sara nodded. 

Mila said, “I am going to take Michele back to the car.  Take your time, love.”

Sara nodded again.

They watched Mila walk away.

Emil said, “Your son is beautiful, Sara.  He is going to look a lot like his uncle.”

Sara replied, “Thank you.”

Emil began sobbing, “I am so sorry, Sara.”

Tears streaming out of her own eyes, she hugged Emil.

“It’s not your fault.  We had no way of knowing.”

Emil cried, “I killed him, Sara.  Just as sure as if I had pulled the trigger myself.”

Sara, hugging him harder, replied, “No, Emil. We both thought he was stronger than that.  Neither of us knew he was hurting that badly.”

Emil collapsed to his knees beside the grave taking Sara down with him.

“How am I going to live without him, Sara? I don’t know how to live in a world that he isn’t a part of. Why didn’t I try harder to save him?”

Sara replied, “You did all you could.  I know it’s hard. But I’ll help you.  We can make it through this together.”

Emil said, "I don't know if I can.  I miss him so much."

Sara said, "I know."

Emil sobbed into Sara’s shoulder.  It was the saddest sound Michele had ever heard. 

_ And I caused this. How? Why? _

Michele cried out to the spirit, “What did I do?  Did I  _ kill  _ myself.  Is my future  _ that  _ bad?” 

He looked at the spirit who just pointed at the scene before them. Michele walked closer to the two loves of his life, his sister and Emil. They were both sobbing messes. Their hearts broken with the loss.

_ I did this to them.  So much pain.  There has got to be a way to change this.  It can’t be too late.  It can’t end like this.  I can’t hurt them like this. _

But it was the last thing Emil said that broke Michele.

“I loved him, Sara,  for so long,  and I don’t ever think he knew. I should have told him.  Maybe then he wouldn't have left us.”

Those words shattered Michele’s cold and sheltered heart. 

He fell to his knees in front of the spirit, “Tell me I can change this.  Speak to me!  Tell me it’s not too late. Spirit, please tell me there's a chance to change this. Please, I cannot do this to them.  Tell me it’s not too late.” 

Michele clung to the robe of Christmas Yet to Come begging for another chance, and for it not to be to late. The scene before him faded away and he found himself kneeling on his bed in his room.  Judging by the light in the room it was early morning.  

_ That was a Hell of a dream.  _

He wiped the tears from his eyes and vowed to never let that dream become a reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sara and Emil. I feel bad. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading.


	6. Christmas Day

Michele heard Sara calling from the kitchen.

“Mickey, breakfast is ready.”

“Coming.”  He replied.

He walked down the stairs with a strange sense of deja vu like he had seen this all before.  

Michele said, “Merry Christmas, Sara” as he kissed her on her cheek.

Sara replied, “Merry Christmas, Mickey.”

She handed Michele his breakfast. He sat the breakfast down on the table.  He just couldn’t wait any longer.  He went over to their tree.

Sara asked, “Mickey, what are you doing?”

Michele replied, “I just need to know, Sara.”

Sara asked, “Know what?”

Michele replied, “If the dreams I had last night were real.”

Sara, concerned, said, “What? Brother, are you okay? You’re not making any sense.”

Michele replied, “I know.” as he picked up Emil’s gift from underneath their tree.

Michele opened the gift and there it sat in his hands _the book_ just like in his dream.  Michele’s eyes opened wide in shock.

_Oh my God, they were real._

Michele’s mind went off-line for a moment.  It just couldn’t handle the implications of those visions from the night before being real. He collapsed to his knees.

_Oh, God. I need to go.  I need to see Emil.  I can’t lose him. I can’t let that future become a reality._

When he was finally conscious of the world again, he heard Sara say, “Mickey, are you okay? What did he give you?”

She was shaking his shoulder trying to get his attention. He simply handed her the book.  She gasped remembering the dream she had last night. She held it gently in her hands as if she or it might break.

Michele, as he stood up, said, “I’ve got to go.  Right now. I need to see Emil. I can’t let the future happen as it did in my dreams. Will you be alright without me today?”

Sara nodded, “I’ll call Sofia.  She invited me over earlier and I’ll go there.”

Mickey nodded and said, “I need a plane ticket.”

Sara said, “I’ll book it for you.  You go pack and get dressed.  We can’t let Emil spend Christmas alone.”

Michele looked at her.

“How did you know?”

“You weren’t the only one who had strange dreams last night.”

Michele laughed.

“Make the return flight in a week.  I want to spend New Years there too. Coach won’t mind if I miss a couple of days of practice.”

Sara replied, “Okay, now go get ready to leave.”

Michele showered and packed.  He put on the violet sweater that Emil gave him last year just like in his dream.

_Emil will probably appreciate me wearing it since he gave it to me._

He rushed into the living room, his bag slung over his shoulder.

Sara said, “I booked you a ticket.  It leaves in about 2 hours so you need to get going.  I called a taxi, he should be here soon.”

Michele replied, “Thank you, Sara.  I’ll call you when I get there and I will see you in a week.”

Sara said, “Have a good time and please talk to him.”

Michele said, “I promise, I will.”

He heard the taxi honk.  He waved to Sara as he went out the front door.

Sara whispered as he left, “Well, brother, it’s about time.”

Mickey barely made his flight.  He scooted in at the last minute and took his seat.  He tried to get comfortable.  It was going to be a long five hours.

***

He was one of the first passengers off the plane once it landed.  He needed to be at Emil’s before the boy got home. He called Sara as he was walking through the airport.

Michele said, “Sara, I made it, but I have run into a problem.”

Sara asked, “What problem?”

“I don’t know where Emil lives.”

“I do.  I send him a Christmas card every year.”

Sara rattled off an address that Mickey wrote down.

Sara said, “Tell Emil hi for me, and Michele, try to have a good time?”

Michele said, “I will.  Talk to you later.”

Sara replied, “Bye.”

They hung up the phone and Michele arrived at the taxi curb. He gave the driver the address that Sara had given him. The cab dropped him off in front of a tall apartment building. Michele got out of the taxi and paid the driver. He slipped into the building behind another resident and began searching for Emil’s apartment. He didn’t know what time Emil would return from his parents’ house but he wanted to be there when he did.  He found Emil’s door and settled himself in front of it.  He sat reading the book Emil had given him for Christmas while waiting for Emil to arrive home.

******

Emil was slightly depressed.  He hated leaving his family’s celebration early but he needed to be back for his appointment tomorrow.  He was going to miss Christmas dinner and the other Nekola family traditions.  Life hadn’t been great the last couple of months.  Barcelona didn’t go as planned and then his falling at competition.  His shoulder ached and the sling was uncomfortable.

_I hope I haven’t gravely injured it.  I want to compete in the Worlds and the Europeans. I want to be able to see Mickey._

Emil sighed as he trudged up the stairs to his apartment.

_I wonder if Michele opened his gift yet.  Maybe he will call later?  That would be nice. He hardly ever calls._

When Emil got to his floor, he noticed that someone was sitting in front of his door.  

_Are they waiting for me?  Nah, I bet they have the wrong apartment._

When Emil got closer, his heart nearly stopped and his brain went completely off the rails. Emil’s eyes got wide.

_What in the Hell is Michele doing here?_

Michele hadn’t noticed him yet because he was involved in the book he was reading.  

_He is reading the book I got him and wearing the sweater I got him last year. I didn’t think he liked the sweater.  I have never seen him wear it. It looks good on him._

Emil stopped in front of his door. He looked down at Michele.

“Michele?  What are you doing here?”

Michele looked up into Emil’s confused blue eyes. Now that the moment was upon him, Michele’s brain froze.

_What do I say.  How do I do this without seeming like a weird idiot?_

Michele shrugged and replied, “Uh, I just really wanted to see you?  I think we have some things to talk about and I wanted to talk to you in person, and not when we were busy at a competition.”

Emil raised an eyebrow and said, “Ok.  Come in then.  Sorry my place is a mess.  I wasn’t expecting company.”

Michele picked up his bag and moved out of Emil’s way so he could unlock the door.  He followed Emil inside the apartment.  He watched as Emil set his bag on the floor and hung up his jacket just like he had done in the dream. Michele hung his jacket up next to Emil’s and left his loafers next to Emil’s shoes.

Emil asked, “How long are you staying?”

_He’ll probably leave tomorrow and he probably has a hotel reservation.  Michele likes to have everything set just so when he travels._

Michele replied, “A week, if you will have me that long.  I wanted to spend New Years with you.”

Emil blushed.

_A week.  He is staying a week!_

Emil asked, “Where are you staying?”

Michele blushed and answered, “Uh, I haven’t made any arrangements, yet.  This was kind of a spur of the moment thing?”

Emil looked at him like he had just said something completely unbelievable.

Mickey blushed under Emil’s stare.

_Mickey never does anything without planning it to death.  I am supposed to be the spontaneous one._

Emil said, not daring to hope, “You can stay with me, if you want.”

Michele nodded and said, “Please.”

_Did he just agree to stay a week with me in my apartment?  This has got to be a dream, right? That, or I’ve lost my mind._

Emil went to the kitchen.

“Do you want something to drink?”

“Water?”

Emil came back into the living room carrying a glass of water.  He handed it to Michele and went back to the kitchen for his glass.  He sat down on the couch and gestured for Michele to do the same.  

After Michele sat down, Emil asked again, “What are you doing here, Michele?”

Michele started, “I told you I just wanted to see you.”

Emil, tired and exasperated, replied, “You just don’t do that, Michele.  Just go and see people. You don’t do spur of the moment just go see your friends visits, especially on a holiday that you usually spend with your sister.  So tell me, _why are you here_?”

Michele asked softly, “Do you want me to go? I . . .”

Michele sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I could just go home. Sorry that I bothered you. I thought. . .oh Hell Emil, I don’t know what I thought.  I’ll just go. I’m sorry.”

Michele got up off the couch. He put his glass on the coffee table.  Walked over and put on his coat.

Emil thought _is this Michele trying to reach out?  If so why and why now? If I let him walk out the door I may never get another chance. He won’t try again and I may lose him as a friend._

As Michele walked over to pick up his bag he heard Emil say something but it was too soft for him to hear.

“What?,” Michele asked.

“Please don’t leave.”

Michele sat his bag back down.

“Do you really want me to stay?”

Emil nodded. Michele took off his coat and sat back down on the couch.

Michele said, “Let’s start over, huh?”

Emil nodded.

Michele said, “I been having some dreams lately that have made me stop and think.”

Emil raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

Michele continued, “and maybe I haven’t been fair to you.”

Emil’s eyes got wide.

Michele said, “I think I know how you feel about me.”

Emil blushed and covered his face in his hands.

Michele said, “Hey, no.  It’s okay.”

Emil let Michele pull his hands away from his face.

Emil stuttered “Do. . .you. . . really?”

Michele said softly, “I think I do.”

Emil said, “And?”

Michele said, “I am not sure how I feel, yet. I’ve never considered anything beyond skating and Sara. But I do know I don’t want to lose you.  I just need some time to figure it all out.”

Emil shook his head, “You could never lose me.”

Michele, remembering his vision of the future, just looked at Emil, unshed tears in his eyes.

Emil, frowning, said, “How bad were those dreams.”

Michele replied, “You don’t want to know.”

Emil said hopefully, “Time is something I can give you. Maybe we could start at friends and see where it goes?”

Michele nodded and said, “I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I thought I would be done by Christmas. lol. Hope you have enjoyed my little Christmas story. Thanks for reading. Come yell at me on tumbler @auronevardell. We can talk about the boys. And check out my Beta's Christmas Story [All I Want for Christmas is You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12958389/chapters/29622777)


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